Marge went home yesterday. She wasn't invested at all in her rehab and as soon as she realized what and where she had put herself she immediately wanted out and back to LA to see her BF-the guy she does drugs with. Marge paid little attention to me or anything here other than her cell phone, paid little attention when we were discussing PREHAB, and basically showed me that she isn't prepared to do the difficult work that is a solid rehabilitation. She could not identify a viable dream of hers. She admitted that the "program" she is in (working toward a certificate as a medical assistant) is what others want for her and is not what she necessarily wants. We discussed her lack of investment (emotionally) in such a program, but I'm afraid my suggestions to her went in one ear and out the other. Since she indicated that she wasn't happy here (and she had no money), I put her on a bus for home yesterday. Her 5 day stay here did provide her a safe semi-detox, but this 32 yr old woman is a long way from hurting herself and those around her. I was pretty hard on her on the way to the bus station, explaining that few addicts realize the pain they put others around them through and how selfish addiction was, but again, I doubt that she was listening to anything other than her phone. In the 5 days she was here she never smiled, not once, and never partook of her beautiful surroundings. She is stuck firmly within herself. I wished her the best of luck, told her she was always welcomed back, and gave her a few bucks to spend along with her ticket. I hope Marge can ride out her vices until she can figure out what will make her happy in this world besides a quick fix. As soon as she figures out her dream, she'll be able to conquer her addictions.

"Joe" returned to England and has convinced a very well known British BadBoy rocker to come to me for rehab. Unfortunately, my upcoming surgery will prevent me from seeing/working with anyone at my home from this point forth through, at least, August. I was an "A" level tennis player and want my shoulder repaired correctly as I plan to win the USTA 80's someday. Also, since I received only one response to my question as to rather anyone is actually reading this blog, I will be closing this down for the duration of my surgery and recovery. It is possible that I will take on clients again in the fall, but right now I intend to spend next year rehabbing my body and trying to sell some of my existing works. I will also try to find a new publisher for PREHAB as I am now absolutely convinced of it's ability to help save lives. I want to thank those of you who may be attentive readers to this blog and assure you that my adventures are hardly over, just on hiatus.

See you all in the Fall.

Things here proceed along as expected. "Marge", as I'll refer to her in these blogs, is getting the rest she so desperately needed before she arrived here. She sleeps, eats, showers, smokes a cig or two, and has repeated this process since her arrival two days ago. When she's awake, much of her time is spent arguing with her parents or trying to justify her absence from her nursing assistants program. She is nearly hysterical whenever she approaches any difficulty at all and her way of expressing her frustration is to cry and/or yell at her parents. She constantly gets down on herself. She exhibits little ability to focus. I explained to her that she still has toxins in her bloodstream and body tissues that need leaching out, but the addict in her wants her to return to LA. She is trying to justify that return by saying that her schooling has to be this or that, but she is unwilling to tell her school the real story. Plainly, she is just not ready to return to the civilized world. It should be interesting to see exactly what she decides. Right now, it is hard to get much in to her. She is courteous, but resistive to any suggestions. Very negative in her world view, and it's a negativity that's based on fear. Her lack of esteem makes her a real challenge, especially because she doesn't not want to be here and is somewhere else in her mind.

As to my shoulder injury, here is the full impression by the radiologist below.

1. full-thickness tear of the supraspinatus and infraspinatus
tendon with 5 cm of retraction and mild to moderate atrophy.
2. partial tear of the subscapularis tendon with displacement of
the biceps tendon from the bicipital groove
3. mild to moderate degenerative osteoarthrosis of the
acromioclavicular joint
4. mild degenerative osteoarthrosis of the glenohumeral joint

Obviously this stuff can't be good and i am scheduled to see an orthopedic surgeon next Tuesday. Well, I was looking for a rest, now it seems as if I've been forced into one.

If anyone actually reads this, please log onto my website: www.prehab2rehab.com and give a a shoutout under "comments". It's lonely in here and I'd love to know if someone is reading.

My mother seems to be well. She is now a week back from Cleveland where her boyfriend of the past 6 years was recently diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. That's incurable and a fairly quick and painful way to go I understand. This man was a Godsend to my mom after my dad had died in 2002. Mom and Lee (not his actual name) hooked up in 2004. His wife has died 5 years previously in a terrible bicycle/car accident. Lee and mom healed one another over time and Lee was there for her when my brother was diagnosed with terminal kidney cancer in 2005. However, having suffered through my father's death and then through my brother's death took quite a toll on mom and Lee recognized this. He implored mom to return to Sacramento so she would not have to watch another important man to her disintegrate before her eyes. She came home a week ago. I had recalled my sister from China in anticipation of mom's early return and I had one of my former wives move in to assist mom with her daily activities. Mom is settling into her new role as "queen" where we do for her instead of her always doing for us.

Well, Joe has been in Sacramento with his new love for the past 5 days, but is scheduled to leave to London this afternoon. By the time most of you read this blog he'll be back in Jolly 'Ol facing the music that he must. His stay in Sacramento was bumpy, as I predicted, but very few people that come to visit me here actually listen to what I tell them and then act upon that information. I find myself saying "why don't they just do as I outline?" but invariably people who do not take their rehab 100% seriously tend to fall off their workout schedules, become lazy in their application of the 4 P's, and soon end up on the wrong end of a bottle or needle or both. For Joe I noticed a sharp decline in his interest in rehab as soon as he met this particular woman (I warned both Joe and this woman repeatedly against one another), and his focus became opaque and distorted. This particular woman thinks of herself as a "healer" because she has a massage certificate and teaches yoga. One must watch out for charlatans in this life. For instance, this woman knew I had a bad shoulder (I fell hard on it this past January). Although I was reluctant, I allowed her to "massage" my shoulder. It was painful, but I endured it. After a few minutes she proclaimed that she could cure me through her healing touch and that I didn't need to see a physician. Well, the pain continued and so I kept my doctor's appointment and xrays showed that I had, apparently, broken my shoulder cap way back in January. A large spur had developed along the capped ridge and all sorts of stuff is going on in and around the joint. The jagged spur is cutting into my ligaments, tendons and muscles. There was no way in heaven her "healing hands" were going to fix this. An MRI was ordered and subsequently I have just learned that I have a severed tendon and tangling muscles and a torn rotator cuff. I will be seeing an orthopedic surgeon within the next few days and must look forward, I'm afraid to surgery soon.

So, here is this woman swooning all over Joe, telling him gawd-knows-what and "healing" him. Well, that all backfired. They argued. I believe he drank, but I am unable to confirm this. Now there are hard feelings and Joe has slipped way off his rehab schedule as it was with me. The upshot of this is that it will make his return to England much more hazardous and his trials there more difficult to handle. I pray he has the fortitude to withstand the onslaught of negative influences which will descend upon him like a plague. Also, I have no idea what these two concocted about his return to America, but any thought of his return to Sacramento must come without my investment. Since Joe did not participate as I wished him to in his developing alternate vocational directions for himself, I can only conclude that he intends to, somehow, resume his song writing career. Fortunately that should keep him in Europe until he can receive his next royalty check. Then his plans were to move to NYC. Hopefully he'll not resort to his old ways of dealing with his life while in London awaiting criminal proceedings and instead will withstand the trials he must endure and move forward from there with a plan for himself.

I know I said Joe would be that last case I take on for awhile, but I have received word of a rather desperate situation that I cannot ignore or turn away. A mid twenty something young lady who has been rehabbed at least a half dozen times, was doing fairly well I understand (she's an opiate addict and a methhead)-she was attending school toward a nursing certificate-when she went to visit an old boyfriend and began shooting speedballs! How one jumps from nursing school to speedballs so rapidly over a boy I will never understand. I do know she has not read my book so perhaps I can get her healthy, detoxed, and implant some important ideas in her head before getting her back to school. I expect to hear from this young lady's mother sometime today or tomorrow and will make arrangements for her stay here.

So, I have an old friend coming for a visit this weekend. My middle daughter graduated university this past weekend. My youngest daughter prepares for her middle school Commencement and The Ever Important Commencement Dance. The love of my life is moving 600 miles away in a month for at least a year, and I have shoulder surgery to undergo! Whew...what can happen next?

Oh, and I received a call from Old Blues Guy. He is happily undergoing his rhab in Southern Cali still and constantly referring to PREHAB for guidance. He says that PREHAB has absolutely prepared him for rehab and because of that he is benefiting tremendously while he watches others around him flounder. It enlivens me to think that any of my humble words could help a poor soul so. I am forever in awe of my mysterious ability to conjure the right words at the right time. I am happy to assist OBG and all these other souls in such anguish. I only wish I could do more.

Obviously, a rest will have to wait...

Joe leaves here tomorrow. He will begin what I have termed his need to "face the music". This is intended to be a triple entendre. He must face the music of his very short, yet intense relationship with an acquaintance of mine, he must return to London soon and face whatever charges or accusations regarding him he may encounter there, and he must face the music within his soul. He must try to conjure the poetry and melodies of his newly formed perceptions. He must face the music of his past, while listening to the heartbeat of his present. All this while staying true to the dream of a future. And, he must stay sober.

He'll be spending a few days in Sacramento at my mother's house. Although she doesn't understand the full nature of Joe's addiction(s), mom adores Joe and they get along like peas in a pod. Joe has that ability in general. He can sit and watch Sponge Bob with my teenage daughter for hours, yet will turn around and discuss with me the nature of neutrinos and their effect(or not) on metaphysical reality. He is quite the chameleon and has a smooth natural charm that he has come to realize is much better off without the consumption of alcohol. His shared London upbringing with my mother allows her the opportunity to make her famous Shepard's Pie and other delights that only the British could love. I have never been one for British cuisine (do they have one?) and much prefer my mother's Jewish cooking. Joe also loves spending time at my club in Sacramento. He likes the warm sun and cool pools nearby, and he likes to laze in the spa area watching sports and relaxing. I will arrange for him to access the club as he wishes.

I feel extremely confident in Joe's ability to remain sober. He has integrated the teachings within PREHAB although he would never admit to it. Part of why I like to rehab people in a familial setting is so the natural process of learning is allowed to unfold. In this way I only have to be a guide and interpreter. This is always the best sort of counseling as it affords your client the opportunity to figure things out for themselves even though they are very gently guided. It requires a very gentle touch as a good therapist does not want to color the perceptions of the newly rehabilitated. Conclusions must be generated for themselves. Since I have finally gotten the time I have always craved with Joe (his very addicted person and a very busy schedule recording and gigging has required an 8 year rehab process!) Joe has been able to focus on pulling himself from the past and is now able, for the first time in a long while, to look at his present circumstance with a sort of detachment as he realizes that he is no longer the dark personage he was for 3 decades. He is now a Being of positive energy and light. He has pulled himself from the mire of his past and planted himself squarely in the now. This allows self examination in a new light and this makes forward moving plans for himself possible. It also allows him to look at his past actions as just that: past actions that, although he would no longer initiate, he is still tied to and will have to face consequences for. Physically he has never been stronger and he has gained 8 pounds since coming here. He looks awesome. Hair cut, shaved and in clean, new clothing. He performs his adl's consistently and now understands the relationship between esteem and love (see the book). Thinking good thoughts creates good happenings and helps form healthy relationships.

I am a bit disappointed with our inability to go too far from home vocationally, although I never thought Joe would ever think about doing anything other than being a poet and a songwriter. He insists he wants to perform and that that is a large part of his dream. This is something I would not argue with. I am grateful for the brief time he was able to visit a disabled center as I think it may plant a seed within him that someday could produce a tree which might bare fruit. I continually encourage him giving of himself and doing for others as often as possible. I feel like following him home and watching as he moves through the next few weeks of his life, but I realize that is impossible, and in fact, not needed. He has everything he needs within himself. I will see him Saturday when my middle daughter, Kayla, graduates from UC Davis this weekend. There will be a party and we'll see one another there, check in, then I'll return to Tahoe and he'll be off to SFO and onward to Heathrow early Monday morning. I will miss my friend and wish him well as he faces the music of his new life.

If all my patients/clients went as smoothly as the two musicians I'm working with, the whole world could be rehabbed in about a year. Old Blues Guy finished his weekend gig with such flair that his picture made the newspaper today! My sources report, as does he, that he was able to play just as great as always without touching a drink of alcohol or a hit of dope. That's 4 days of gigs in the hot sun and in a festival atmosphere! I couldn't be happier for him. This was something he thought could never be and now he is at the precipice of his future. As planned and promised, OBG made his plane yesterday and checked into a very reputable rehab setting in So Cal. He called me today to let me know that PREHAB has totally prepared him for what he is undergoing and he feels like he has a leg up on others there just starting their sobriety. They gave him zanex and he turned it down. Wow!Now, if he can stick it out, understand and obey their rules and, at least try to do AA work, he'll graduate from their and have new skills that will secure a healthier future for him, and by extension, his family.

Joe has been holed up in Sacramento for about 5 days now and he appears to be a real hit there! Evidently, he is just as charming without drugs as he is on them, and without the anger-fueled rages brought about by alcohol, he has made quite a few friends already. He has been attending one hot yoga class a day-minimum- and he is eating well, performing his adl's and, in general, doing really well! He has written another song (I think that's about 4 since he's been here). Of course, we are both still anxious about his well being when he returns to London in about 2 weeks time, but I have started making inroads there on his behalf. I'm trying to line up secure digs for him-maybe a sober living environment, and also trying to see if I can secure some volunteer work for him at a disability treatment center or some similar place. In doing this now I hope to create a "moving" situation for Joe so that he doesn't have alot of time to miss his old lifestyle and "friends".

Strangely quiet here, I can take some time out to pay attention to my personal life. My middle child is graduating from UC Davis, and my youngest daughter is being promoted to high school. My mother is due back from Cleveland and I have one of my ex-wives moving in to care for her (drive, cook, etc). This is a happy coincidence as my ex-wife had just become homeless. Now, she and her 7 years old son (from another liaison) will have secure digs. This also gives me some much needed leverage over my 13 year old as she realizes that if behavior is not exemplary and her grades do not maintain a 3.5, then it is going to be an easy deal to move her to her mother's (my mother's) for future raising thus allowing me some much sought after freedom. I have been raising children now for 27 years, and with only a few more on the horizon, I find myself looking forward to life unencumbered by children and their associates!

I had to turn down a new client as I will not work now until September. This next few months will be focused upon resubmitting my book to publishers and promoting the existing piece (getting it out on ebook links and such...). Two more weeks with Joe, then a nice few weeks off...ahhhhhhhhhh.

It's been quite a Memorial Day weekend. Old Blues Guy gas thus far been very successful in playing the gigs at a jazz festival without using any alcohol or drugs. He has been referring to PREHAB and the table of contents in particular. He says that is an encapsulation of the rest of the book. That's cool. I hadn't thought of that before, but you can just turn to the ToC and see the 4 p's and the dynamic duo right there next to one another and that seeing is a reminder of each of their impacts and their impact as a whole. In any event, having the book physically in his presence seems to be a calming factor for OBG. He is looking forward to his rehab which is the intent if the book. So, all seems well there. He'll be leaving for an LA rehab facility on Tuesday afternoon.
Joe was taken to Sacramento for the weekend by a woman of my close acquaintance. She came up here to visit my daughter and Joe and she hit it off. They asked if he could have the weekend with her, so I complied. At some point I have to believe that Joe is responsible enough o care for himself. I warned her about his drinking and that in no circumstance would that be acceptable. I do not fear for Joe using other drugs unless he is drinking. Then alcohol excuses all other irrational behaviors and I am extremely concerned about his using heroin here. There is a new, particularly strong form of heroin going around at the moment and junkies have been found with needles still in there arms or a straw still up their nose as they overdose easily on this stuff. Poor Joe, being as clean as he is now, would not do well with this junk. I last heard, however, that they have been attending yoga classes and lounging poolside enjoying one another's company. Fine. Next week we'll tackle more questions regarding his upcoming return to England. He has only 2 weeks left with me and there is still much to do vocationally.
I am an immigrant and became an American citizen in 1964 when I was 12. I love this country and appreciate it and Memorial Day always gives me pause to recount my very many blessings. I grieve for all the families who have lost a loved one through battle while defending our country. I offer my words to any of you who wish a free copy of my book. Bless you all.
On a personal front I feel good about my efforts over the past few months. I also can see the good that PREHAB has done and can extrapolate how this book would do if I could somehow get it out there in a worldwide release. I see how the book calms people and answers questions they have about themselves. I am blessed to have been the tool for PREHAB's founding.

Old Blues Guy left this morning. In just the few days he was here much by and for him was accomplished. He detoxed fairly well, sweating out long held toxins in my hot yoga studio. He discovered the healing benefits of cannabis based balm. He exercised more than he had in years. He confronted his being. He arranged for an in-patient stay (30 days)at a renown rehab treatment center in LA and found a way to pay for it and his airline ticket down there. He read and questioned, then comprehended and owned each and every PREHAB principle presented to him vowing to memorize its life-saving tenets. He arranged for a sober partner to pick him up here and stay with him throughout this Memorial Day weekend where he is playing a 4 day jazz festival he could not get out of (even though I advised against his playing it-I would have preferred him going straight into rehab from me). These and many other things accomplished here will help him withstand the rigors of the next few days and over the next month while he is in-patient. But this weekend upcoming is just the sort of time-trial that will absolutely test OBG's ability to stay focused on his intention (which is to get to rehab on Tuesday afternoon) and to control his urges to use by applying the PREHAB principles he has come to know and respect. He left me in great spirits, with a skip in his step and an optimistic point of view. We read PREHAB to each other and discussed all the various implications the book opened to us, and OBG seems more focused and determined than ever to beat his demons. I made myself available to him 24/7 as I do all my charges, we hugged, and off he went this morning...Good luck Old Blues Guy.
I'm such a nurturer that I find it always difficult to let go a patient. I question the timing of it all. I question my ability to have assisted in some way. I wonder whether or not I can be there for that person in the heartbeat when I will be needed the most. Knowing that I may not always be able to make those appointments is a brutal reality I must face. I wish I could be in the pocket of each one of my clients...guess that's why I wrote the book and made it pocket sized.
I got a call from an old client. He's clean and mostly sober. We've been working together since 1993/1994. He came to me hooked on alcohol and prescription meds; meds he was taking from injuries incurred on the job. He was into construction. Hard, physical labor. He also had a chip on his shoulder a half-mile high. We first met when he slammed then slumped his 6'2" body into one of the office chairs that faced my desk. Then, peering at me through his dirty, long blond hair, he snarled "So, what are you gonna do for me?"
I stared right back at his intense eyes with equal passion. Resting my arms on my desktop, I slowly leaned forward and smoothly asked "Why don't we start with your dream? Tell me what your dream is?"
Since that day we have become fast friends and he was an ideal client. His rehab was solid, he stuck to our plan and he made his mark. I was invited to his wedding some fifteen or so years ago. I know his son well. Unfortunately, he and his sweet wife are divorcing. He wisely called me to check in and I told him, as I always have, that I am available to him 24/7. We talked about possible pitfalls to watch out for. I hope he stay chill and makes this an easier transition for him than many I have seen. I will help him if requested, otherwise I will have to sit by the sidelines and watch this play out. Good luck, old friend!


www.prehab2rehab.com
PREHAB: The Essentials for Successful Change
Available at www.Lulu.com and www.Amazon.com

Sometimes things just seem to work out nicely. Placing OBG with Joe has been a wonderful experience for us all. They get along well and have been absolutely supportive of one another. Joe has been terrific since his minor setback 10 days ago and is appropriately contemplative throughout the day. It's cool to see him really taking his life seriously for a change. We joke about him having a moment of "feeling" where he is immobilized by the sensation, but in many ways this is the reality of his "feeling". Some of his past actions are appearing in his memory now and he has the time to actually process many of his actions, good and bad. This has opened him to feeling things that he should have thought about and felt long ago. Better late than never in this case. Many of his past memories make him "feel guilty" and he doesn't like this feeling. We discuss it and he realizes that guilt is something that evolves from the past and now that he is rehabbing he no longer has to feel guilty about his actions, although he still may have to face consequences for those actions. Joe continues to workout daily in one fashion or another, is writing and caring about his eating habits. His ADLs are more consist ant and he is shaving daily, brushing his teeth daily and, in short, learning and securing new habits.
OBG continues to sweat out his toxins which I am replacing with good, healthy food and a lot of water. He is sleeping less and is on a more traditional schedule now and during the days he is active in the hot yoga room with me sweating while we discuss PREHAB and his rehabilitation. He likes to ride a bike rather than walk as it is less painful on his arthritic knees. To that end, I obtained some cannabis salve which he applied to his knees. He reported immediate relief as he hasn't felt in years and wants to obtain more of the stuff. His mood is up and he studies PREHAB believing it is an elixir for life. We have been able to easily identify his dream in this life and he is cognizant of how his addictions have kept him from fulfilling his dreams. His understands how addiction has corrupted his purpose and how he has become addicted in order to satiate only his addiction! He understands how damaged he really is. OBG sees the usefulness of the 4 P's and the Dynamic duo of Intention and focus. He wants to do for others what I have done for him,. He desperately wants an addiction free life and I think he just might make it with the assistance of PREHAB and the advent of the PREHAB toolbox! He tried to underline and highlight the book at first but then realized that he was underlining the entire book, so he's decided to just commit the book to memory! Smart guy. That's why I kept it short and succinct. Unfortunately, he feels it necessary to play a four day Memorial Day gig and he won't go into rehab till it is over. I told him that he will be his most vulnerable during this time, but he assures me he will be able to handle it. He told me he would keep the book with him at all times and will call be daily till he goes inside on Tuesday, next week. He will leave here in two days having been detoxed and with a thorough understanding of PREHAB in its tenets. Hopefully, he'll make it easily through the weekend's gigs and fly to LA on Tuesday ready to complete his first rehabilitation experience.

www.prehab2rehab.com
PREHAB: The Essentials for Successful Change
Available at www.Lulu.com and www.Amazon.com

I set up OBG downstairs as Joe is able to sleep solidly through the night (for him a miracle to go to bed at 11pm and sleep until 8ayem). OBG has medical issues that complicate his recovery as he is in considerable pain from arthritis and from various other physical maladies that will be examined by a MD when he formally enters a rehab facility. Till then I will have to rely on my blood pressure sleeve and his verbal history when designing his program here for detox. His meth use has been fairly consistent, so coming off this is going to be quite harsh to say the least. I usually do not detox, but have done so on too many occasions so I know what to do and what to look for. This won't hit him =for a few days, anyways. Then he'll do all the bs that junkies do to fool themselves and the others around them. It's gallows-humor funny to me now and I just chuckle and refuse to cave in. It's frustrating to the junkie because they are used to getting their way or bullying about till they get what they want, but I can't be bullied and just remind them that their ridiculous behaviors just belie their need to rehab. I can get most folks to stay. OBG needs to go into stir for at least 60 days. I hope MusicCares finds him a good bed that will treat him that long. Anyway, he's asleep now and I expect he'll be sleeping for a day or two pretty solidly. If not, he'll be in my hot yoga room sweating this insidious drug from his bloodstream.

Joe is a completely different guy when he's not drinking. He truly is one of my great friends as over the years I have come to respect his ability to survive amidst his personal, mostly self-made tragedies. His expertise with OBG could come in handy this next few weeks and already his demeanor toward me and his rehab has assisted OBG in accepting his role here. Having both these two cooperating and working in unison would help me survive the next few weeks. I end a four month run of this stuff 6/14 and will not take anyone on until Sept 1st, so I'll have a nice respite from this madness. My goals now are threefold: 1) to continue to physically workout Joe and keep him forward thinking (as forward as we can think considering a potential trial). His next royalty check (near the end of June)will allow him to settle in NYC where his resume should gain him entree to an agent or manager. He has been writing new works and that is a wonderful thing. My 14 yr loves one of the new songs apparently and Joe seems happy with that(whereas I would question anything a 14 year old girl likes-lol).

The weather in Tahoe runs from snow flurries to bright, warm sunshine this time of year. The Canadian Honkers and their goslings float easily down the keys and the vast variety of birds visit my feeder daily. Soon the ducklings will be born and OBG, Joe and I will go exploring the trails and streams of my lovely mountain home.I am forever grateful for my lot in life. I have everything I need and alot of what I want. Although it is hard work without financial compensations, I love my work and I am grateful for the opportunity to serve others. I have 3 talented and beautiful daughters who are wonderful human beings just trying to do their human thing. My mother is well enough for 80 and as I reflect back on this past work year (I go from September to June), I must humbly thank the Great Powers That Be for this amazing life I am so privileged to perceive. I look forward to the next round of adventures heading my way and the love that will be coming to me and flowing from me.

www.prehab2rehab.com
PREHAB: The Essentials for Successful Change
Available at www.Lulu.com and www.Amazon.com

Joe thinks he can "dabble" in alcohol and drug use. This is his imagined perfect world: He wakes up and has breakfast, coffee, then begins to write. Maybe smokes a bowl here. A workout, snack, and more writing/reading throughout the afternoon. An evening meal. A short run, before...a "nightcap" over television. Then bed. What can be wrong with that? Sounds like a pretty idyllic life. For most of us this would be a terrific lifestyle, especially if the "nightcap" were a small glass of red wine. All this seems fairly benign. To most of us that's true. But, to Joe, this seemingly benign schedule holds the potential for great disaster. Where and how?

Firstly, there is nothing built into his schedule that supports him outside of himself. Joe has stated repeatedly that he doesn't like AA and cannot continue going to meetings that he sees as a waste of time, and maybe even backsliding. Well, if not AA, then somewhere Joe needs to insert a support system of some sort.
Secondly, and far more importantly, alcohol, in even the smallest amounts, will pave the way for Joe's return to heroin and the harsh life he was living. Although it appears to him to be innocuous, alcohol opens his "Mr. Hyde" and once Mr. Hyde appears there is little "Dr. Jekyll" can do to hold Hyde back. Hyde will certainly return to the darkness and Joe will be howling and wailing long into the night for fixes needed and shots taken. I hope the lessons Joe learned from the disabled children he visited will be remembered and nurtured because I believe that Joe's giving unto others will open his Being to new pathways of wonder.

On another note...I found out that Old Blues Guy isn't even as old as I am (I'm almost 58). He just looks a wreck. This is the result of years of methamphetamine abuse. Old Blues Guy (OBG) has been recently shooting the stuff into his already seedy circulatory system, overloading his Hep C liver. Well, he's on his way up and is expected to arrive this evening. Apparently, he has been accepted by MusicCares for inpatient treatment and someone is trying to arrange something for him, but until then he needs a safe place where he can come down and be cared for. So I was asked.I usually don't take someone actively coming off a long drug haul, but OBG is close to not making it, so I thought it best that he come here rather than be on the streets trying to score. Apparently, his band (a well known blues group) is very close to firing him. That would prove disastrous and certainly send him speeding away somewhere! But, it's been about 4 months now of 24/7 care here and as summer approaches I find myself tiring and weakened. I need a break soon, so hopefully by mid June all this will be over for a spell. Meanwhile, I'll prepare another room...


www.prehab2rehab.com
PREHAB: The Essentials for Successful Change
Available at www.Lulu.com and www.Amazon.com

Working with Joe these last few weeks has enabled me as a therapist to witness something very rare in this line of work; true epiphany from a person whose entire life has been a living nightmare of one drug or alcohol fueled experience to another. I'm not talking about someone who has dabbled in recreational drugs and gone a bit overboard becoming addicted after a few months continued use. I'm not even talking about the alcoholic who started drinking innocently enough in college and is now in their late twenties to mid thirties trying to cope with a newly realized alcoholic self. This gentleman started out at the tender age of 8 and by the time he was 10, he was already a fan of daily beer and a shot or two thrown in when he could muster one. Now, at 41, he is just coming round to the realizations that most of his life has been accomplished unwittingly in alcoholic stupors and/or drug fueled manias. His life has been blasted from him by his various addictions and seeing him-finally-coming completely out of this has reminded me somewhat of the traumas brought about by a sudden or violent assault upon the senses, such as is Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Joe's assault was initially a single traumatic event foisted upon a child. With no time to properly respond to the initial attack, he was assaulted again and again, day after day, with traumatic and what must have been interpreted as violent, assaults upon his body and senses. After all, Joe was but a child when his addictions began and his mind was incapable of differentiating between should and shouldn't, good and bad, right and wrong. His mind was also attacked perceptually as his young brain was only beginning to properly sort out reality from fantasy and fiction. And now, watching him sort through all the debris and begin to restore his tortured mind, I see him riding the same emotional roller coaster I traveled on with my PTSD. It seemed that one day I would be fine, present, and taking care of business personally and professionally. But, the next day, for seemingly no reason at all, I would be grumpy and pessimistic, easily irritated, sharp with others and distrustful. There has always been a correlation between PTSD and drug/alcohol use, but for the first time I'm seeing the horse before the cart, so to speak. It's very possible that Joe's repeated early alcohol abuses produced in him a post traumatic stress response that perpetuated his alcohol and drug usage. He'd been thrust into a very horrid vicious cycle that has continued unabated until he began seeking treatment with me in 2002. It has taken this amount of time to properly "see" his PTSD so I can begin treating it. I've never even heard of this sort of thing before, but then again there are not a lot of 41 year olds around that have been octuple addicts for the past 30 years, give or take a few. It gives me hope to see Joe rehabilitating and going through his grieving process. It is not unlike what occurred in me the closer I got to learning to cope with PTSD.

PTSD may be more pervasive than we think. If Joe’s addictions are PTSD based as I think they are, then that may hold an answer in how to treat his particular addiction. Advances in treating PTSD are happening as we speak and a great deal of attention is finally being placed upon understanding and treating Post Traumatic Stress. We know irritability, drug and/or alcohol abuse, all sorts of excessive and addictive behaviors, violence against self or others, societal withdrawal, and so many other symptoms are related to PTSD traumatic stress, perhaps if we incorporate PTSD treatment modalities with new drug and alcohol rehab techniques we may find new successes are possible.

How does this affect those who currently suffer from PTSD and its related symptoms? How does this affect the millions of us that PTSD sufferers touch daily?

Firstly, you are not alone. Not even close to being alone. There are millions of us who are touched daily by those who suffer from PTSD, and the good news, the hope is, that we are beginning to look at PTSD in ways never thought about before and new therapies are being invented for those who suffer. New treatment modalities offer new hope for freedom from this crippling dis-ease.

To all those suffering from PTSD, and to all those who live with such a person, please remember your 4 P's, and practice focusing on your present intention as it will always keep you on your pathway toward your purpose and your dreams in life.


www.prehab2rehab.com
PREHAB: The Essentials for Successful Change
Available at www.Lulu.com and www.Amazon.com