Wow. It's been a few days since I last wrote and so much has happened in that not much has happened. The fact is Joe is doing so well that the days pass quickly and I find that we are already a third done with our rehab efforts. Joe is in the midst of redefining himself, building a new substructure and foundation for the new self he is inventing. Accepting the losses of his past and placing them into a subconscious file where they cannot disturb his present course, but are available for review whenever necessary or wanted. This has enabled Joe to begin forward thinking. The leg he had stuck in the past is being pulled daily from that muck and mire, and the thoughts that weighed him down in so much quicksand have been compartmentalized for later examinations. Although he realizes that there are still many tough roads ahead (he has to return to England to potentially face criminal charges that may wind him in jail), he is willing to accept the consequences of his past actions, but sees them as past actions that are not related to his new self. It is an interesting perceptive position. One stands in the now and prepares to move forward. In this case, moving forward means having to be responsible and pay possible consequences for past actions. By doing this and by perceiving it in this fashion, we bring the past into our present and accept TODAY what might have been an action of our past. By owning these actions in the here and now we can learn from them and gladly suffer whatever consequence befall us because we are more whole and present with our feelings. Although Joe is not particularly thrilled at the prospect of returning to England (it is a long standing discussion of ours), he is going to do so and be splendid in his doing. Hopefully, his rehabilitated self will convince the court that this once hopeless addict is now fully functional and willing to be a responsible citizen-even pay for past crimes that he can no longer relate to. Perhaps the British courts will be lenient and forgiving. Mercy is a beautiful human trait that we do not see much in nature. Our intelligence allows us to go beyond mere instinct. We shall have to see how things transpire a month hence.

Meanwhile, Joe's yoga is getting pretty good. We are working out daily in 112 degrees and 40% humidity. He is eating well and gaining weight. He spends a great deal of time contemplating his now and how he is feeling (or not feeling) and he seems bothered by the fact that great wells of tears are not flowing to the surface. I explained to him that during his heavy drug addiction and perpetual usage, that he might, in fact, just not remember what he was feeling and for whom he was feeling it. His cognition, although not greatly impaired (somehow) is full of spaces in time and events happened and slow to remember at all. Time will eventually allow for his feelings to well up. I am not pushing this. We continue to eat well, work out hard, and talk continually. He is trying to devise a viable plan of action from this point forth (actually, for after the court hearing in June in London). If all goes well there, Joe plans to return to the US at the end of June when he will receive the next installment of royalties for his work. This will be the first time he has had such a check without needing to pay back drug dealers and such, and without the immediate need to cop more dope, so we are hopeful he will take this "seed" money and move to NYC. NYC is the best place, we think, for Joe. Yes, there is a massive amount of alcohol and drugs in the city, hoverer in his business, the music industry, there will always be present these undesirable things. Joe has to be strong enough to resist temptation. No one can do this for him. Joe now sees very clearly the errors of his thirty year drug/alcohol fueled past and wants more from life now. A home, a wife maybe. He needs to find safe digs there and an agent/manager willing to set up a showcase. NME and Rolling Stone need to see the changes in this guy. One good review and one sold song and this man's new life takes hold forever.


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PREHAB: The Essentials for Successful Change
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