Joe thinks he can "dabble" in alcohol and drug use. This is his imagined perfect world: He wakes up and has breakfast, coffee, then begins to write. Maybe smokes a bowl here. A workout, snack, and more writing/reading throughout the afternoon. An evening meal. A short run, before...a "nightcap" over television. Then bed. What can be wrong with that? Sounds like a pretty idyllic life. For most of us this would be a terrific lifestyle, especially if the "nightcap" were a small glass of red wine. All this seems fairly benign. To most of us that's true. But, to Joe, this seemingly benign schedule holds the potential for great disaster. Where and how?

Firstly, there is nothing built into his schedule that supports him outside of himself. Joe has stated repeatedly that he doesn't like AA and cannot continue going to meetings that he sees as a waste of time, and maybe even backsliding. Well, if not AA, then somewhere Joe needs to insert a support system of some sort.
Secondly, and far more importantly, alcohol, in even the smallest amounts, will pave the way for Joe's return to heroin and the harsh life he was living. Although it appears to him to be innocuous, alcohol opens his "Mr. Hyde" and once Mr. Hyde appears there is little "Dr. Jekyll" can do to hold Hyde back. Hyde will certainly return to the darkness and Joe will be howling and wailing long into the night for fixes needed and shots taken. I hope the lessons Joe learned from the disabled children he visited will be remembered and nurtured because I believe that Joe's giving unto others will open his Being to new pathways of wonder.

On another note...I found out that Old Blues Guy isn't even as old as I am (I'm almost 58). He just looks a wreck. This is the result of years of methamphetamine abuse. Old Blues Guy (OBG) has been recently shooting the stuff into his already seedy circulatory system, overloading his Hep C liver. Well, he's on his way up and is expected to arrive this evening. Apparently, he has been accepted by MusicCares for inpatient treatment and someone is trying to arrange something for him, but until then he needs a safe place where he can come down and be cared for. So I was asked.I usually don't take someone actively coming off a long drug haul, but OBG is close to not making it, so I thought it best that he come here rather than be on the streets trying to score. Apparently, his band (a well known blues group) is very close to firing him. That would prove disastrous and certainly send him speeding away somewhere! But, it's been about 4 months now of 24/7 care here and as summer approaches I find myself tiring and weakened. I need a break soon, so hopefully by mid June all this will be over for a spell. Meanwhile, I'll prepare another room...


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